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"There is love and lust, pain and pleasure, sensory overload and sensory depravation. In the end, the 'best scenes' bring balance, a strange and quiet state of inner rest." Chapter 11

Becoming a Slave
The Theory and Practice of Voluntary Servitude
by Jack Rinella

About the Book
Publisher:
Rinella Editorial
Published:
2005
302 pages, paperback
ISBN:
9780940267206
Price:
$19.95
Click here to purchase Becoming a Slave (Kindle edition)

Click here to purchase Becoming a Slave (print edition)

Does domination of another turn you on? Or do you dream of submitting to the lord or lady of your life? There aren't many books to get you started, or keep you going. Here's a solid resource on SM that is safe, fun, and responsible.

The Master's Manual examines various aspects of erotic dominance, including SM, safety, sex, erotic power, techniques, and much more. Even if you're into submission rather than domination, this book will give you insights that will lead you to a more fulfilling sexuality. I've written the book clearly, frankly, and without judgment so that any man or woman, regardless of sexual orientation, can find the info they need to make their dreams come true.

 

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

    1. An Introduction

    "Pleasure is the rhyme and reason for leather. To be even more clear, it is the reason for leathersex."

    2. What is Leather?

    "Leather bars have changed...Time was when a leather bar had water sports, public sex, significant areas for bondage and whipping, and back rooms that started at the coat check area. And most guys checked a lot more than their coats!"

    3. The Making of a Master

    "Since leather mastery is counter-cultural, the quick and easy way to become the real master, which so many wish for, does not exist. Experience is still the best teacher."

    4. What We Really Need Is An Education

    "There's a lot to learn about SM, and knowing it's techniques and purposes unfolds a rich and rewarding vision of possibilities and pleasures."

    5. Reflections On A Scene

    "Every scene is the unique creation of the men and women in it, as influenced by time and space."

    6. Why SM?

    "Why SM? For me it is the truth of who I am...and for us in leather that is the answer that matters."

    7. The Goals of Leathersex

    "Once again I'd like to stress that "We do it for the fun of it. Plain and simple, SM is fun, perhaps serious fun, but fun nevertheless."

    8. Why Am I Doing That To Him?

    "When we move beyond the superficiality, we can develop a rare and beautiful intimacy. We become connected to each other, balancing each other as top and bottom, as pain and pleasure, yin and yang."

    9. de Sade's Not Into The Leather Scene

    "...de Sade's characters give leather sadists a bad name...The sadism in the leather community has little or nothing to do with the fantasies of the Marquis. Ours is both safe (his characters committed murder) and consensual (they kidnapped their... victims). If those distinctions aren't clear enough, we can add to them the fact that our "sadism" is for mutual pleasure..." "...Sadists in the leather community...are those who inflict pleasure...of an intense degree, skillfully induced with necessary caution, measured speed, and careful recognition of the masochist's responses."

    10. Ideas For A Master's Manual

    "Attitude makes the difference between being a master and a top. Technique, desire, experience, and a bottom's willingness to serve contribute to a master's role, of course. But in the long run, what distinguishes a real master from those folks who are playing at it is attitude."

    11. A Natural Sense Of Balance

    "There is love and lust, pain and pleasure, sensory overload and sensory depravation. In the end, the 'best scenes' bring balance, a strange and quiet state of inner rest. It may sound corny to say, but when all is said and done there remains a peace that hums within..."

    12. Leather Lit. 101

    "Nobody's surprised when I say that there weren't a whole lot og leatherfolk in the small Indiana city where I came out as a leatherman. I got a lot of my early SM experiences because I traveled for a living....But there was a lot more to my "education" than raw sex. Fact is, much of it came from books and magazines."

    13. Sometimes Master, Sometimes Slave

    "Humans, of course, don't fit into the clean molds of leather stereotypes. The truth is that in some way or another, each of us, including the most dominant master and the most experienced slave, is versatile. Versatility is simply the recognition of potential."

    14. The Question of Equality

    "...dominance and submission are integral to what happens in leathersex. In spite of appearances to the contrary, I'd like to make the point that domination doesn't necessarily obliterate equality."

    15. Making It More Than Interesting

    "Frank brought a well-defined set of expectations to his first leather scene (it was bondage). Years of fantasy had given him time to imagine an event that he looked to the top to create for him. The top, for his part, could only do so much, given the fact that he and Frank were strangers. It's hard enough to get inside a person's head when you know him. With a first-time partner, it's nearly impossible."

    16. It's A Matter of Trust

    "Trusting another depends on trusting one's own perceptions and conclusions. Confusion sets in not because we don't trust others, but because we don't trust our own ability to decide whom to trust and whom not to trust. So to find someone to trust, we've first got to have faith in being able to do so."

    17. The Thin Layer Of Civilization

    "...scratch the skin of any of us and you'll find the primal beast......We live in a world that suppresses that danger, allowing it to simmer in quiet desperation ...Therein lies the advantage of leather... It harkens to a primitive, basic, corporal existence..."

    18. Power

    "We have been socialized from birth to eschew power. Society, of course, is ambivalent in that requirement: we honor the powerful wealthy, we elect politicians to power, we obey the power of our religious leaders. At the same time, most people accept their own powerlessness."

    19.Slavery- Now That Says It All!

    "Early on in such a relationship, the service that is rendered is usually sexual in nature. As the relationship develops the slave will most likely move into areas of service beyond fucking and sucking. The service will come to include housekeeping and gardening chores, surrender of finances, a matching of the slave's will to the desire of the master."

    20. How To Be Your Master's Best Boy

    "As master, be responsible for directing and maintaining the relationship. For your slave's part, let then takes responsibility for serving you. Accept that service as your due and their pleasure."

    21. Reality Therapy

    "Getting the relationship you seek is no easy matter. Finding the 'right' partner seems to take forever, and once you are over that hurdle, the process has only just begun."

    22. Rope, Whips, And Other Dangers

    "Avail yourselves of good information. Ask your physician, and read any (or all) of the many guides to safe sex. Attend informational meetings put on by many leather clubs and health organizations...Remember that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. After all, it's your health and that of your partners that matter."

    23. Scenes That Go Wrong

    "Yes, accidents occur. The trick is to minimize the occurrences and to lessen their effect. That's done by knowing your partner, your equipment, and your play space."

    24. What's In A Top's Toy Bag?

    "Having collected leather toys for more years than I care to tell, I've garnered quite a usable assortment. I'd like to give you a tour of my tools."

    25. Serious Leather And Large Toys

    "The list of furniture-sized accouterments can go on for pages, of course, with stocks, beams, posts, benches, chairs, etc. One's imagination can literally run wild."

    26. Dungeons And Playrooms

    "Play spaces and the things you put in them either add a great deal to the leathersex experience or detract a great deal. Only you (or your architect) can really design the area that fits your needs, your desires, and your situation. Begin by taking stock of where you are and what you have."

    27. All Tied Up And Everywhere To Go

    "I removed the clothespins, played with his nipples a bit and replaced the clamps in a slightly different position. I moved my body close to his face so that he could feel the hair on my chest."

    28. Now Here's A Topic!

    "I've whipped a lot of ass in my leather career, and some of those scenes still amaze me. In fact, it was a session with a guy our in the suburbs that proved to me that I have limits- and I was the one doing the whipping! It didn't hurt me at all, buy it was more than I could take."

    29. Spare The Rod, Spoil The Slave?

    "The problem with imposing rules in order that they be broken, or breaking rules simply for eliciting discipline is that both cases set up a scenario for failure."

    30. Those Two Points of Pleasure

    "I can feel my tits today. They got a workout last night. My friend played with them, twisted and punched them, and used clothespins as well. When the clothespins didn't hurt anymore, he took them off and used his fingers again. The pain was delightful. Somehow he knew I wanted him to do that."

    31. It's Not The Clothespins

    "When I put on the twelfth clothespin, he lost his temper and told me to stop, to take the clothespins off. He didn't want any more of this. Of course, I did as he asked. I ended the scene right then and there, but I wouldn't let him go home immediately. Instead, I convinced him to take a few minutes to talk things out. And as we did, the real story came out."

    32. Pain And The Leather Lifestyle

    "Before I go too far, I'd like to set some ground rules. I'm not writing about violence, harm, abuse, or coercion. They have no place in real SM activities......Fortunately, we in the leather community know the difference.....We aren't into pain for the sake of pain as much as we see pain as a 'doorway' into deeper and more meaningful experiences."

    33. Finding A Boy

    "There are enough Master/slave relationships around to prove though that such states do exist. Finding the right boy takes patience and creativity."

    34. Contracts And Commitments

    "Leather is an arena for the radical. That means it allows for exploration and experimentation. It refuses to be pigeon-holed into some concrete category. Instead, it remains fluid, vital, and responsive. That doesn't mean that its unpredictable. Every relationship must have some kind of stability. We need to care for our partners, and to be there "when it counts." If there is to be trust, there must be dependability. They go together."

    35. Verbal Abuse

    "It may surprise you to think, but empowerment doesn't only apply to the master. Slaves are meant to be empowered as well. In fact, it is this feeling of empowerment that, first surprises, then motivates many bottoms. Having endured the blows, the orders, and the submission to another, they discover their own strength."

    36. So, What Are You Into?

    "Since you are reading this book for educational reasons (aren't you?), it's important to define our terms. My handy dictionary defines "fetish" in three ways, the third of which applies here: "something, such as a material, object, or often a non-sexual part of the body, that arouses or gratifies sexual desire." The list, of course, is quite extensive..."

    37. I Went To The Opera Instead

    "For most, piss scenes involve pissing on a person or being pissed on. It's really as simple as that. Others take it a "step" further, and drink piss, usually from the tap but occasionally in other ways. For others it may involve "wetting one's pants" or playing with diapers. In any case the meaning of such activity is hard to explain."

    38. Fucking

    "Those of you who still think leather is about clothing, ought to know that leather is also about fucking."

    39. So, You're A Top

    "So, your want to be a master? Then be careful to master."

    40. What Do We Do Next

    "That's what I think the future is all about. Creating sustainable and nurturing relationships is what leather is really about. It is where leather is 'going next'. It's been the same since the days of motorcycle clubs, the Gold Coast, and when the 'Old Guard' was still young."

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