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"On the other hand, I'm not advising you take unreasonable risks, nor that you subject your anus to stresses that endanger your health. Know what you're doing and with whom you're doing it before you get someone's five fingers and wrist up your ass."

My God, I've Got My Hand Inside You
by Jack Rinella

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The first time I fisted someone, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was still in the relatively early stages of "coming out" and was in a local bath. This guy came up to me, told me what great hands I had, that he loved my hairy arms, and asked me back to his cubicle.

He then spent the next hour and twenty minutes giving me the world's closest manicure and taught me how to fist. The rest is history.

I've always been on the giving end of fisting, so I'm going to quote extensively from a letter I recently received from my friend Larry. He's an avid fistee, as you will soon see. Properly performed within strict safe sex guidelines, fisting is probably not as dangerous as it's made out to be.

On the other hand, I'm not advising you take unreasonable risks, nor that you subject your anus to stresses that endanger your health. Know what you're doing and with whom you're doing it before you get someone's five fingers and wrist up your ass. A word to wise ought to be sufficient.

Larry writes: "The first time I was fisted, my friend Ray had been fucking me and he began toying with my ass hole with a finger which he finally gently pushed into me. I soon asked him to put another finger into my butt, and then another. This was a very slow process.

"He would be playing around inside of me with, say two fingers, and I would finally want another one. So then he had three fingers in. After 30 or 40 minutes of this I again asked him to put another finger in me, but honestly could not remember how many he already had up my butt.

"He did as I requested, and then I felt a little push, felt my ass dilate wonderfully (I can still actually remember how that felt that first time, over 20 years ago) and then I heard him gasp. 'My God, I've got my whole hand inside of you! Wow! I've never done this before. It's really wild!' "

And he was suddenly, totally turned on to having his hand in me. I could feel him exploring my ass with his fingers. I could feel him pushing deeper and deeper into me. I felt total ecstasy, so total that I knew that I had just fallen in love, not with Ray, but with fisting.

"I felt moved into an entirely different 'head space', although I could not describe it then. Looking back, I know what that space was. It was my first sexual trip into the astral. And I took Ray with me."

Larry continues: "I feel strongly that fisting has everything to do with manipulating the root chakra (an Indian term for an energy center) which is located in the anus and genital area. Stimulating this chakra stimulates the sexual feelings. I know that the larger the object which goes into my body, the more I am stimulated.

"This is why those who enjoy being fucked are always searching for the 'ultimate cock', that huge, seemingly impossible instrument to fuck them. Huge dildos will accomplish some of what I am talking about, but they can't replace the living, breathing, spiritual 'ultimate cock'. For me this is the hand/fist and arm of another man.

"Fisting does take a considerable amount of time and patience at first or after a period of time when you haven't been fisted. It's not something that you just 'do' and then it's over. And it's not about just sticking a fist up there, moving around a little and then pulling it out.

"It is a ritual! It has to do with bonding, not only of the physical bodies of two people, but of the emotions. It has to do with taking the time to build up an intense sexual desire to do it and to have it done. It has to do with mutuality in feeling. It can never be what it's supposed to be in a 'slam bam thank you ma'am' situation...

Finally, fisting requires total, absolute trust by the bottom in the Top. Anything less than this won't do at all. "My experience with fisting, from the very beginning until now, has been the most purely sexual experience, yet it also attaches itself to the spiritual. That night," writes Larry, "when you had your fist up my ass, I felt the same as that first time. Every time I have been fisted successfully, I have felt the same as that first time."

As I said, I've never been fisted, so my experience has always been on the side of insertion. Seeing the look on face of the receiver, it's obvious that Larry's experiences are not unique. There is a glow, a warmth, and a bonding that is occurring. Understanding that, it becomes obvious why my friends who get fisted are such zealot devotees of ass play.

Devoted or not, play safely. Jack

Copyright 2000 by Jack Rinella. This material may not be copied in any manner. For permission to reproduce this essay, contact

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