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"In the thirty-five or so years since I first heard the word dildo, I've not only collected them, used them, and enjoyed them, but also come to the conclusion that they can be a very good friend, when other friends just aren't around."

Rubber Toys of an Insertive Nature
by Jack Rinella

I was in grammar school the first time I heard the word dildo, about the same time that I heard the word merkin. In those days we used the word to put someone down as being useless. After all, what good is a rubber penis? You can't get anyone pregnant with it!

That, at least, was my thinking in my Catholic, pre-sexual, pre-gay awareness days. Yes, there actually was a time when I thought that sex was ONLY for breeding. Well, I've come a long way, to say the least.

In the thirty-five or so years since I first heard the word dildo, I've not only collected them, used them, and enjoyed them, but also come to the conclusion that they can be a very good friend, when other friends just aren't around.

Dildoes are more than just solo devices, too. One can use a dildo on oneself, on another, or together.

Using dildoes to their fullest extent takes practice. The cardinal rule is to start small. In a short matter of time, you'll be able to boast "I can't believe I took the whole thing." Proceed slowly, and work your way up in length and width. Practice is the key.

For many of us, anal-retentiveness is the norm. Our tight-assed society causes repression in more than one area. Initial pain or discomfort is par for the course. As with many fine things, using dildoes is an acquired taste. Take them slowly, at a pace that feels good, and relax. You'll get the hang of it if you keep at it.

I once had a fisting date with a guy from downstate Indiana. He arrived on the arranged evening with a bag full of dildoes. He had a full range of sizes, from the embarrassingly small to the unabashedly humongous, the width of a fist. One look at the largest was enough to swear anyone off dildoes forever, until one worked his or her way up to it, anyway. And that, of course, was his plan.

The guy knew his way around rubber toys. His first request was for me to fill the kitchen sink with very hot water and let the toys soak for half an hour. They were already clean and sterile, but he preferred they be inserted warm. Others use the dishwasher or clothes dryer to warm them. While the dildoes heated up, my buddy cleaned out his ass.Now I have had some requests to write about enemas, but I'll pass on that subject for now.

Once cleaned, the next step is the choice of lubricant. I use one that contains anti-viral compounds. If you're playing solo that is less important. In fact, alone you may prefer to use other kinds of lube, such as baby oil or Crisco.

I used to play, in pre-AIDS days, with a group of guy who mixed Crisco with baby oil and all sorts of herbs. Ah, the recipes creative men come up with.

Experienced ass-players know the value of good lube and of using lots of it. I regularly play with a guy who begins his ass sessions by injecting a syringe full of lube up his hole. It's a small plastic utensil, like a baby turkey baster and works really well.

From that point on it's a matter of relaxing as you insert, letting the dildo touch all the places that feel so nice to touch. A slower speed gives time for your ass muscles to get accustomed to the expansion. It's a good idea to twist them around slowly as well as use an in and out motion. Again, lube freely and often.

For safety's sake, you may want to cover the dildo with a rubber, though as long as you don't share them and are careful to keep them clean and sterile, I don't think the added precaution is necessary. On the other hand, using condoms on dildoes insures that they'll be easier to keep clean. Use dildoes that have a wide base, to insure that they don't get in so far that they're not going to come out with ease.

Speaking about ease, I know a dominatrix who keeps a tube of Anal-ease handy. It's a mild, non-prescription pain killer that helps her clients relax their hungry holes.

So, you're going slowly with lots of lube. Progress in size until you get where you want to go. As I've said, taking it in steps is the way to go. You can work your way up to the big ones if you like, but you may not be able to do it right away.

As tight as I am, I can get there too, but not all at once. That sometimes means that I'll just tease my anus with the dildo and sit slowly down on it, using a "pushing out" movement to widen my sphincter muscles.

In any case, be careful not to strain or push too hard. We're not out to hurt ourselves or each other. If there is pain, you are proceeding too quickly. Slow down and enjoy it. The dildo isn't going anywhere except where you put it. It'll be there tomorrow for you to try again.

If there are any signs of blood, put the toys away for another day. A little bit of bleeding isn't something to worry about, as long as it is only occasional, of short duration, and minimal flow. Needless to say, if there is continued bleeding consult your doctor as soon as possible. Uncontrolled bleeding is very dangerous and ought to be looked at immediately.

Keep paper towels, wash cloths, and regular towels handy when you play. Never share dildoes unless they have been cleaned and sterilized. I always scrub my toys with warm water and soap, then throw them into a bucket of hot water and bleach. Mix the bleach and water in a one-to-ten ratio and let them soak for a while. Not only will that insure good health, it will remove unwanted stains. Stains will happen but they don't affect the quality of dildoes, just their looks. The bleach treatment will take care of that.

After a good soaking, rinse the toys well and wrap them in a clean towel so they'll stay clean until the next time. There are many variations to dildoes, as they come in all shapes and sizes. Double ended toys give you a chance to share with a friend. Butt plugs are usable for longer wear, either for your own enjoyment or when imposed on a slave. When inserted in a slave's butt, they are a constant reminder of who owns what. I used one on an applicant recently and when I asked two hours later how it felt he broke into a huge smile.

Who said it would be more uncomfortable than pleasurable? That is the usual way with dildoes. One look at them and it's a quick "No way" from the in-experienced. Life teaches us better lessons than that, though, and even the slightest bit of experimentation will make converts to rubber ass play.

I once built (and still use) a peg seat. It's a small stool with a dildo fastened upright in its center. When my then lover Steven saw it, his face showed a large grimace. That boy could be such an un-believer. I assured him that I had tried it out already and that the feelings were quite good.

With a bit of incredulity, Steven gingerly sat on the new toy. He immediately broke into a smile of satisfaction. He loves to get his ass played with and wasn't fooling me with his reluctance.

So what's a person to do? Make your way to one of the shops around town and pick up a small dildo. In fact, do yourself a favor and pick up a small one and one a little larger. Chances are that the experience will be such that you'll go back to buy an even larger one in no time at all. Have fun, play safe, and keep the toys sterile.

Copyright 2000 by Jack Rinella. This material may not be copied in any manner. For permission to reproduce this essay, contact

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