recently noticed that sexual activity with both Mike and
Lynn has been wonderful. With either partner I'm able
to experience intense emotional and physical states of
I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I think that
it doesn't get any better than this. Why do I say that?
Well there are definite signs that point to deep mutual
satisfaction: groans, moans, and sighs; exhaustion when
it's over; multiple orgasms and orgasms without ejaculation.
I experience profound relaxation and heightened ecstacy.
and I had sex three times one night last week --- that
means that we're doing something right!
analytical mind tried to figure all this out. To say that
sex at the age of 48 is better than sex at the age of
24 is a gross understatement. What makes it better?
the sake of convenience, I'm going to write in the singular
person, but remarkably, what I say applies to either of
the relationships with my significant others. Not only
do I get it good, but I get it good from two different
someone as promiscuous as I it seems strange to write
that the closeness of our relationship is what makes it
so good. From the beginning we have tried to be honest
with our feelings and open with our thoughts. Our years
of being together (three with Lynn, two with Mike) have
allowed us to get to know each other very well.
is very important. Knowledge begets trust, overcomes obstacles,
finds solutions, fosters creativity, and helps us to be
relaxed with, and understanding of, each other. I know
what he likes. He knows my preferences as well. There
is something to be said, in fact a lot to be said, for
having a steady lover.
feeling is that the sex is also better with Mike because
we're seeing more of each other. Since he moved in from
the far Western suburbs we're able to spend several nights
a week together. More time together actually translates
into more quality time together.
for us, that has been the case. We've been "going out"
with each other and doing some chores together. Doing
so is one of the things that has made sex with each other
better. The first suggestion, then, is to improve sex
by doing things besides having sex.
second improvement (but who's counting?) came when I discovered
that Mike likes verbal abuse. I tend to be a bit on the
quiet side when it comes to sexual play. Recently, though,
I've made a concentrated effort to be vocal towards him
and the effect has been pleasant for both of us. So now
I swear at Mike as he sucks my cock and it turns both
of us on.
consciously doing the same with Lynn. Instead of swearing
at him, though, I am praising, actually talking to him
and to parts of his body in loving and laudatory ways.
It's the opposite of what I do with Mike, but the effect
is the same!
next attribute that comes to mind is intensity. None of
us are afraid to be intense. We can "let go" because we
are so sure of the other. I don't fear that I will turn
my partner off and he feels the same way about me. So
the pleasurable result is that we have no (OK, few) inhibitions.
are free to talk about what we feel and free to do it
as well. There is neither fear of rejection nor fear of
refusal between us, even though we're always free to say
intensity, or maybe as part of it, flows concentration.
Or is it the other way around? Sex is better when you
focus your self on giving pleasure to your partner or
do the opposite and focus on receiving pleasure, depending
on the kind of relationship you share.
with Lynn, I abandon, or try to, any thoughts about my
own body and its feelings as I direct my full attention
to pleasing him. With Mike, I assume a dominant role so
that I only think of my own pleasure and open myself to
experience every bit of the joy that he creates in me.
In one instance, I am fully active. In the other, I am
paragraph needs to be qualified. Each "part" of our sex
play holds a different characteristic. I'm not always
passive, not always active. When worshipping my master's
cock, I'll be pro-active, even zealous to please. When
he changes the course of the action, for example, by whipping
me, then I'm liable to shift my attitude into one of complete
acceptance and passivity.
changes occur between Michael and me. I will, for instance,
lie back and tell him to make me feel good at one time,
then grab a paddle and make myself feel good by beating
the hell out of him. In either case, there is concentration
which leads to intensity.
technique that I have learned is to consciously try to
do more than one thing at once. Use as many body parts
at the same time as possible. During oral sex, for instance,
suck the cock or labia (depending on your preference)
while using your fingers to play with your partner's tits.
Simultaneously, use the palms of your hands to massage
the breasts or pecs, rub your stomach or sides and arms
on his or her thighs, and use your feet to touch his feet,
all while saying sweet nothings.
the idea? I know that all that sounds like over-kill,
but it can be done. The best cock-suckers often stroke
the cock they are sucking and they will use both hands
to do it. I'm sure you get the picture.
technique is to pause once in a while. Take a break from
the sexual activity to have a drink (usually water or
soda) or just to rest and catch your breath. Allow yourselves
to move with the natural ebb and flow of the activity.
Don't feel like you have to do this or that. There's always
more time later. That "three time" night took several
hours, to say the least.
the second session followed the first rather quickly,
the third only happened after I woke Mike up in the middle
of the night.
helps too. Mike and I will often play around in the morning
after a night of sleeping together. Sometimes, in view
of the days's schedule, I make it a point of not having
an orgasm, since I know that builds our libido for another
of this isn't cast in stone. There are times when I've
had an orgasm as the result of a before dinner quickie
with Mike. The after dessert doings back in the bedroom
can be all the more fulfilling since the earlier activity
took off the edge and made longer, more intimate, contact
possible. Mike often jokes about getting me off before
we have sex so I will last longer later. That kind of
stuff comes from familiarity and the freedom to be ourselves.
sex between us is great, it's because we share our feelings
about it and are able to discuss freely it and openly.
Though none of us is lacking in the genitalia department,
the fact of the matter is that our largest sex organs
are our brains. No matter when, where, or with whom you
have sex, use the head in your skull, not in your penis.
Think, plan, praise, play, etc, but do it safely.
1999 by Jack Rinella. This material may not be copied in
any manner. For permission to reproduce this essay, contact
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