Winter, as I was negotiating with a hot bottom about becoming
my slave, he sent me a story about a young man who corresponded
with a master. After several months of letters, phone
calls, and long distance mastery, the fictional applicant
sold all he owned, quit his job, and moved, sight unseen,
to begin a lifetime of servitude. It was a hot story.
many who wish to become slaves, or just leather folk for
that matter, think that fiction is the same as real life.
Oh, if only that were so!
than riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after,
life gives us a different set of experiences. In reality,
the taking of a slave, or the finding of a master,
or most anything else, is usually consuming. It involves
what seems to be endless questioning, lots of discussion,
a great deal of trial and error, and
no small amount of getting ready, getting trained, and
then is the actual process?
a matter of sharing between two people. For that reason
there is no set pattern. In reality what happens is dictated
by who and where the negotiators are. Two people in the
same city, for instance, are going to have a whole set
of circumstances quite different from two people who are
negotiating across a nation or a planet.
think, though, the following recommendations are rather
dependable, modified by the various preferences that other
masters have developed in their search.
Meet each other you where you are (figuratively speaking)
and without expectations of what is going to happen. Be
patient to explain everything in great detail. Answer
ANY questions WHATSOEVER, though the extent of the answer
should be in proportion to the progress of the negotiations.
Clear communication about dreams, fears, needs, and possibilities
are important. It's so much better to get stuff talked
through before you commit than after.
there isn't the opportunity to explain, understand and
be understood, you're only asking for trouble later.
Get to know the other's environment, such as his or her
leather family and friends. What are the living conditions,
the work expectations, the other relationships that will
affect each of you? See if you can get references and
is no need to be underhanded to secretive..ask them who
you can discretely talk to about them and offer the same
about yourself. It speaks volumns if either or both of
you are afraid to let the other find about about you.
I like to correspond and talk on the phone for about a
month, giving us a chance to know each other. During that
time I will want to know about your availability and willingness
to serve, about your finances (no details, just generalizations),
your health, your family, your leather experiences, and
your willingness to relocate. I will use the time to explain
as much as I can, allay ANY and ALL fears you might have,
and ascertain whether or not we are socially and sexually
the same with your prospective master or slave. See if
you can try for "no surprises" when you finally meet.
right now that forthrightness and honestly are the cornerstone
of a relationship. If you cannot talk openly and honestly
then you are not ready for either a Master or a slave.
The most important thing a master will want to learn is
about your attitude. Are you truly a submissive? Are you
a masochist? Are you willing to learn? Is slavery important
to you? Can he or she become a priority in your life?
CAN THEY TEACH YOU TO PLEASE THEM IN EVERY WAY? IS
THEIR PLEASURE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN?
a sincerely seeking slave will want to know similar things
about the master. Don't forget that the master is applying
for a position as much as a slave is. He's not your master
until you consent to the situation.
This process takes time and devotion, Answering correspondence,
returning calls, and following up on orders in a timely
manner is more consuming than one thinks. We all recognize
that you have obligations elsewhere and most will respect
them, but everybody wants to know that seeking a master
or slave is serious to you.
Do not assume anything. You are a free person and should
be treated as such. No matter how "right"
you think this is for you, you
remain a free person until you give yourself to a master.
Many slave applicants forget this fact, as do searching
you feel intimidated or coerced, beware.
let your desire for immediate gratification cause you
to submit beyond your abilility to maintain perspective.
The same is true for Masters; if your potential slave
cannot control their desires at this point they will have
a difficult time focusing on yours later on.
Try your best to take things a step at a time. Commitments
should be spelled out, usually in writing, and should
have specific durations. Rules will be developed as time
goes on, but neither of you should assume anything. When
in doubt, ASK. Assumptions are dangerous and lead to misunderstanding.
This is a time for levelheadness, not wild abandon.
Use your contact time with your prospect to ask questions
similar to those they asks you. Both of you should answer
quickly and truthfully. Have nothing hidden. If you can't
accept each other as you are, wrinkles and all (not literally)
then you need not pursue the negotiations. Be careful
of people who insist that they need discretion. They may
be hiding something.
if discretion is the better part of valor, there is a
time a place for getting to know you, getting to know
all about you. In any case surprises are not going to
go down well for either of you.
After about a month's worth of sharing, if you seem to
be hitting it off, it's time to meet, and possibly to
serve or be served for a limited time, such as a long
weekend, depending upon your schedule and his.
not talk this thing to death. If you can't meet after
about a month, then assume that you are not likely to
ever get together. I have found that pressing flesh, sharing
a meal, and talking face to face answers a million more
questions than any phone or modem can.... How you kiss,
how you serve, how comfortable or uncomfortable you are
as a naked, waiting, housekeeper is important. How he
looks to you, how he whips and fucks, how she senses and
responds ought to be important to you. Those details will
only be known after you've met.
at the just-before-we-meet stage that most negotiations
see, I hate to write this but, most people are just in
it for the fantasy fulfillment of the adventure. They
want to use their discussions and letters from and with
you to jerk off. They don't know what they want and are
wasting your time to try and figure it out. Don't let
this fact discourage you, just look elsewhere. Afterall,
you are looking for the fulfillment of someting more than
simply a good time and that is worth searching for.
the initial meeting you will agree to continue or to cease
the negotiations. He should send you home as scheduled
(after a weekend or a week, depending upon your plan)
and if you agree to continue, you will be invited back
for a longer stay. If that goes well, it's then time to
make a reasonable plan for a longer trial period.
operative word here is "trial". Try it out fully before
you burn all your bridges and make commitments. A step
at a time is the way to go. That way, you'll \both get
there in one piece.
luck in your search. You'll find the end result even better
than your fantasies. Done right, they'll last longer too.
1999 by Jack Rinella. This material may not be copied
in any manner. For permission to reproduce this essay,
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