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"I hate to write this but, most people are just in it for the fantasy fulfillment of the adventure. They want to use their discussions and letters from and with you to jerk off. They don't know what they want and are wasting your time to try and figure it out."

A Timetable For Enthrallment
by Jack Rinella

Last Winter, as I was negotiating with a hot bottom about becoming my slave, he sent me a story about a young man who corresponded with a master. After several months of letters, phone calls, and long distance mastery, the fictional applicant sold all he owned, quit his job, and moved, sight unseen, to begin a lifetime of servitude. It was a hot story.

Unfortunately, many who wish to become slaves, or just leather folk for that matter, think that fiction is the same as real life. Oh, if only that were so!

Rather than riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after, life gives us a different set of experiences. In reality, the taking of a slave, or the finding of a master, or most anything else, is usually consuming. It involves what seems to be endless questioning, lots of discussion, a great deal of trial and error, and no small amount of getting ready, getting trained, and getting psyched.

What then is the actual process?

It's a matter of sharing between two people. For that reason there is no set pattern. In reality what happens is dictated by who and where the negotiators are. Two people in the same city, for instance, are going to have a whole set of circumstances quite different from two people who are negotiating across a nation or a planet.

I think, though, the following recommendations are rather dependable, modified by the various preferences that other masters have developed in their search.

1. Meet each other you where you are (figuratively speaking) and without expectations of what is going to happen. Be patient to explain everything in great detail. Answer ANY questions WHATSOEVER, though the extent of the answer should be in proportion to the progress of the negotiations. Clear communication about dreams, fears, needs, and possibilities are important. It's so much better to get stuff talked through before you commit than after.

If there isn't the opportunity to explain, understand and be understood, you're only asking for trouble later.

2. Get to know the other's environment, such as his or her leather family and friends. What are the living conditions, the work expectations, the other relationships that will affect each of you? See if you can get references and check them.

There is no need to be underhanded to secretive..ask them who you can discretely talk to about them and offer the same about yourself. It speaks volumns if either or both of you are afraid to let the other find about about you.

3. I like to correspond and talk on the phone for about a month, giving us a chance to know each other. During that time I will want to know about your availability and willingness to serve, about your finances (no details, just generalizations), your health, your family, your leather experiences, and your willingness to relocate. I will use the time to explain as much as I can, allay ANY and ALL fears you might have, and ascertain whether or not we are socially and sexually compatible.

Do the same with your prospective master or slave. See if you can try for "no surprises" when you finally meet.

Understand right now that forthrightness and honestly are the cornerstone of a relationship. If you cannot talk openly and honestly then you are not ready for either a Master or a slave.

4. The most important thing a master will want to learn is about your attitude. Are you truly a submissive? Are you a masochist? Are you willing to learn? Is slavery important to you? Can he or she become a priority in your life? CAN THEY TEACH YOU TO PLEASE THEM IN EVERY WAY? IS THEIR PLEASURE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN?

Obviously, a sincerely seeking slave will want to know similar things about the master. Don't forget that the master is applying for a position as much as a slave is. He's not your master until you consent to the situation.

5. This process takes time and devotion, Answering correspondence, returning calls, and following up on orders in a timely manner is more consuming than one thinks. We all recognize that you have obligations elsewhere and most will respect them, but everybody wants to know that seeking a master or slave is serious to you.

6. Do not assume anything. You are a free person and should be treated as such. No matter how "right" you think this is for you, you remain a free person until you give yourself to a master. Many slave applicants forget this fact, as do searching masters. If you feel intimidated or coerced, beware.

Don't let your desire for immediate gratification cause you to submit beyond your abilility to maintain perspective. The same is true for Masters; if your potential slave cannot control their desires at this point they will have a difficult time focusing on yours later on.

7. Try your best to take things a step at a time. Commitments should be spelled out, usually in writing, and should have specific durations. Rules will be developed as time goes on, but neither of you should assume anything. When in doubt, ASK. Assumptions are dangerous and lead to misunderstanding. This is a time for levelheadness, not wild abandon.

8. Use your contact time with your prospect to ask questions similar to those they asks you. Both of you should answer quickly and truthfully. Have nothing hidden. If you can't accept each other as you are, wrinkles and all (not literally) then you need not pursue the negotiations. Be careful of people who insist that they need discretion. They may be hiding something.

Even if discretion is the better part of valor, there is a time a place for getting to know you, getting to know all about you. In any case surprises are not going to go down well for either of you.

9. After about a month's worth of sharing, if you seem to be hitting it off, it's time to meet, and possibly to serve or be served for a limited time, such as a long weekend, depending upon your schedule and his.

Do not talk this thing to death. If you can't meet after about a month, then assume that you are not likely to ever get together. I have found that pressing flesh, sharing a meal, and talking face to face answers a million more questions than any phone or modem can.... How you kiss, how you serve, how comfortable or uncomfortable you are as a naked, waiting, housekeeper is important. How he looks to you, how he whips and fucks, how she senses and responds ought to be important to you. Those details will only be known after you've met.

It's at the just-before-we-meet stage that most negotiations end. You see, I hate to write this but, most people are just in it for the fantasy fulfillment of the adventure. They want to use their discussions and letters from and with you to jerk off. They don't know what they want and are wasting your time to try and figure it out. Don't let this fact discourage you, just look elsewhere. Afterall, you are looking for the fulfillment of someting more than simply a good time and that is worth searching for.

10. After the initial meeting you will agree to continue or to cease the negotiations. He should send you home as scheduled (after a weekend or a week, depending upon your plan) and if you agree to continue, you will be invited back for a longer stay. If that goes well, it's then time to make a reasonable plan for a longer trial period.

The operative word here is "trial". Try it out fully before you burn all your bridges and make commitments. A step at a time is the way to go. That way, you'll \both get there in one piece.

Good luck in your search. You'll find the end result even better than your fantasies. Done right, they'll last longer too.

Copyright 1999 by Jack Rinella. This material may not be copied in any manner. For permission to reproduce this essay, contact mrjackr@leathermail.com

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